Gentle Spirit

It is my belief that the feminist movement of the 60′s/70’s has been the instigator of a lot of the worlds problems.  I believe that it is responsible for the current state of the worlds economy, the destruction of the traditional family, the increase in the crime rates and the current way men and women relate to each other.

I’ll very briefly touch on each of the issues, but primarily I ‘d like to speak about male/female dynamic.

World Economy-The huge gains in property prices, I believe are because during this decade more and more women entered the workplace.  When women started to enter the workforce, all of  a sudden each household had a substantial amount of disposable income.  Demand for bigger and better housing came along and following supply and demand laws, up went the price of property, as well as everything else.   Now, it is virtually impossible for a woman to stay home to raise her family as it is next to impossible for a family to survive on an average middle class income.  I don’t really want to go much further with this at the moment and also want to say that while I have no problem with women working, I believe economically it has been a bit detrimental.  I speak from the point of view by the way of having run a very successful business from 1998-2005.  When the economy dropped, I lost my business, but I am not coming at this from the angle of women belong in the home.

Traditional Family-All of a sudden women were being told that they can do it all on their own.  We don’t need men, men are the oppressors.  As women gained their independence, they realized they didn’t need the man to bring home the paycheck, so many working women left their husbands to raise their families on their own, starting the “single mom” movement.  I realize that there were men at that time too that believed they had their woman trapped, where was she going to go, and I don’t blame anyone for leaving a relationship that they are not being treated well in, I am just stating this whole idea of a “movement”.  One size fits all, it’s my way or the highway rhetoric as espoused by the likes of Gloria Steinem.  Look around you today, at the way things have turned out.  People argue that these women fought for our right to go out and work and be the career women.  What about those of us that didn’t want that?  What about those of us who were and are happy to take care of our family?  Most of us do not have that choice anymore.  Economics won’t allow it.  I have to work, as many women do.  Give birth and back at work six weeks later.  Great if that is what you want, but what if you don’t want that?  Where is my choice now?

Crime Rates- I think this is a direct result of women working out of the home.  Many kid’s today are raising themselves.  With only one parent in the family, usually the mother, who has to work because she is the sole supporter, boys are lacking proper role models.  They miss having the father in their life who can teach them how to be men.  This is evident in the increase of crime rates, overcrowding of prisons, increased drug/alcohol abuse, etc…

Dreamwalker, that is really not want I wanted to talk about, but it is a little food for thought.  We can talk about it another time, and I have not really articulated myself very clearly on the above points, because if I did, I would be writing until tomorrow morning.  The one I really wanted to talk to you about is the Male/Female dynamic, and how this has really changed the interaction between men and women.  You inspired me to write about this, and while I consider myself intelligent, and career driven, I crave the traditional male/female relationship where the Male is the Protector and the Female is his Nurturer.  I need it to be all that I am.

While I completely agree that women should be allowed to vote, work and have the same human rights as a man, I do not believe that men and women are equals.  I mean in the sense of how they relate to each other.  Nature made it this way for a reason, and I think this whole idea that we are equal in every sense is nonsense.  We cannot thrive and be true to our own nature or fulfilled in our relationships under these ideals.

I personally believe that in society today, that men are not sure how to be men, and women are not sure how to be women.  It is as if we are being told that if we relent to our true natures that there is something wrong with us.  We are not normal, or in some way betraying our gender.  I can’t subscribe to this, because I know that I deeply need to be true to my femininity, but it has been a journey to try to find someone that understands my needs, and can fulfill them.  Somehow, we are told that as a woman, if you put your man on a pedestal, that you are weak, you are beneath him and basically treated with scorn by other women.  If you don’t sit around and bash men, and get involved in these, Oh I would not put up with that, you better set him straight, conversations (like the one in the hair salon) that you are not part of the sisterhood.  I have had many discussions about this with my girlfriends, and I can’t seem to get them on the same page as I am.  In fact, they all look at me as being weak and having a low self worth, and being a doormat…this is the preferred comment.  I am anything but a doormat.

I know that with you I let my guard down, and tell you all my inner thoughts and feelings, including about myself, my life, my struggles and difficulties, but if you met me for the first time in another setting, you would never think this about me.  You would think that I had all the confidence in the world. I don’t share my true self with anyone, because I haven’t found anyone that could be what I needed them to be, a true man, or who could allow me to be a true woman.  I need a man who knows himself, and what he is, who isn’t afraid of his desire to possess and go and take what he wants, while remaining loving, compassionate and protective to his woman.  A man who is not afraid to be her everything, and who can accept her love, and warmth and vulnerability.  A man who let’s me break down and allows for my fears, and kisses me in those moments and tells me it is going to be okay.  A man who demands respect, and pleasure when he wants it, not when she wants to give it.  A man who can look into my eyes and see my soul, my love and who shows me how to follow him gracefully.  A man who demands to know my thoughts at all times and who isn’t afraid to correct them for me.  A man who will tell me in no uncertain terms how things will be, me knowing all the time it is in my best interests, and that I will never question because I know with all of my being that he will never hurt my heart and I have 100% trust in him.  A man who I would trust with my life.  A man like you.

I don’t present myself to the world as someone lacking in worth or confidence, only you, and only because I feel safe to be me with you.   I feel safe to open myself up to you and show you my traumas, fears and my insecurities, and my vulnerability.  It is why I feel that nobody really knows or has ever known me at all, why I feel so alone, and why I need to find my mate.

The same feminist movement has planted a great deal of confusion in men’s minds.  It has painted women as their adversaries instead of their counterparts.  Many men take the view of women as complainers, naggers, bitches.  Women are never happy, men seem to believe about themselves that they cannot make a woman happy, that they are never enough and they don’t understand women. Again, I put this down to a few things, and I am going to list them because it will make for easier reading:

1.  Women raising their son’s without the father present, there is no one to show them how to be a man.
2.  Women are equal mantra is being beaten into their heads, and why not when the main provider for them is their mother.
3.  Boys being expelled from school for schoolyard fights, immediately being taught that their masculine instincts are wrong and to inhibit them
4.  Women can do the job just as well as a man……well it depends on the job; fighting a war…no I don’t think so; fighting a fire…no I don’t believe so either…running a corporation…sure.
5.  Boys are being told more and more that the woman is the “boss” which is just silly, but say something enough and eventually it will stick……
6.  Men are made to feel like insensitive, brutes or called emotionally abusive if they try to lord their own manor,( I know the difference when it is abuse and when its not)
7.  They are taught about sexual harassment and it’s wrong to even elude to your sexuality in any way (give me a break, my son got in trouble for this in 3′rd grade, he was 9)

There are many more things I could go on about, but I really feel that it is very unusual to happen upon a man who is truly a male. You are one, and I find you so unbelievably sexy, because I am a female.

The genders have become so confused.  There is a huge underlying resentment and almost hatred now between the sexes.  I think it all stems from feminism in my opinion.  I won’t ramble on about this anymore, and I of course I would love your point of view.  My next part is going to be why it is the best thing for us to be true to ourselves, my favorite part to write about.

You see in my view, as a man, you are the protector, the strength, the leader. It is the way that nature intended.  You take the lead and I follow.   You are confident and assertive, you demand what makes you happy and take pride in your accomplishments.  You know what you want and go and get it.  You are strong yet compassionate, demanding yet understanding, dominating yet protective.  You want to conquer and possess, not just a woman, but out in the world as well.

As your woman, it is my job to take care of you.  To be your warmth and softness.  After being out at battle you come home to peace and harmony.  A place that is your domain, where your needs are taken care of, where you are pampered, and can relax, and take off your armour…..Where you are admired and praised, lovingly accepted and appreciated because of all you do and are, where you can take your woman, make love to her as you please, conquer her as well and receive all of her will in return. She must show herself to you in every way, put herself in your hands, she shows you that she respects you and trusts you above all else, even herself, which makes you feel complete.    When you return from battle you return to peace, comfort and happiness.  You do not come home to challenges or battles, you come home to warmth and softness.  It is safe, loving and inviting.  This is home.

When male and female are fulfilled and answering their true nature, the female becomes and extension of him, his happiness.  He loves her because of her warmth and kindness and nurturing, and only he really knows her, and the secrets of her heart.  She shares all of her thoughts and fears and hopes with him, and shines her adoration of him like a mirror upon him in which he can see his reflection in her.  He protects her at all costs because God help anyone who tries to damage his happiness.  She feels loved, safe and cherished.  He feels accepted, admired and adored.  It is nature at it’s best.

So…………..One thing I can guarantee, is that I have never sat around a hair salon and bashed a man.  I have never gone outside of my relationship and bashed my partner, I have never done it, no matter what they have done.  Although the men I was with were doing their best to be males, I believe that society had left it’s mark, confused them and they were never able to accept me, or know me on any level of depth, because they did not understand themselves.  You understand perfectly, and I adore you for it.

I am a real feminist, I am not, however a movement.